


The Rules of an Adult Break-Up

by celestialminghao



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Gen, Getting Back Together, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Kissing, Lee Chan | Dino-centric, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-01 06:38:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16279547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialminghao/pseuds/celestialminghao
Summary: And Jeonghan says that if you just wait the bare minimum, maybe not even that, then you're not over them and you should either wait longer or reevaluate the break up.Chan was thinking of reevaluating now.————————Vernon and Chan were broken up. End of discussion. No hope for their relationship at all.Of course, that wouldn’t really stop either of them.





	The Rules of an Adult Break-Up

Chan sees Vernon standing outside his apartment late into the evening, rocking back and forth on his heels. It feels so cliche, like a scene from a movie. Vernon just waiting for him there.

"Hi," Chan rasps. He's getting back from drinks with his Hyungs (he's done that a lot since he's either turned twenty or since he and Vernon broke up.) But he's sober enough right now, which is too sober.

So Vernon looks in his direction with big eyes. "Hey,"

"Did you need something?" Chan adds his nickname in his head. Did you need something, _Nonnie?_  

Vernon nods and then swallows hard. "I found a couple of your things." He nods to a backpack Chan hadn't noticed before. "I was just gonna drop it off."

"You can come in if you want."

Jeonghan's voice suddenly echos in his head, telling him the rules of an adult breakup. How long to wait before you see each other and when to just _see_ each other. Don’t ever be alone together.

They were stupid rules, but Chan still tries not to think of them. 

Jeonghan says to wait at least five months before you try anything. Before you see each other privately, but Chan and Vernon only broke up three and a half months ago.

And Jeonghan says that if you just wait the bare minimum, maybe not even that, then you're not over them and you should either wait longer or reevaluate the break up.

Chan was thinking of reevaluating now.

Vernon had to want to see Chan - because any other time Chan received a box of his things (things like gifts Chan gave to Vernon, like prizes he won during dumb amusement park dates, things that were really _Vernon's_ ) it was always Seungkwan, Seungcheol, or Mingyu that dropped them off. Never Vernon, because he and Chan aren’t suppose to see each other.

But Vernon was stepping into the apartment seconds after Chan.  He sucks his lower lip in-between his teeth and nods gently, like he was getting a nostalgic vibe of Chan’s apartment (the apartment that is really Vernon's and Chan's.)

Chan leads Vernon down the skinny hallways into his kitchen, knowing he shouldn't of let him inside.

Honestly, Chan should have taken the backpack and never return it (because it was really Chan's. He lent it to Vernon for some trip to visit Chan’s family once) and maybe make brief small talk. A pleasantly stupid conversation about their lives and pretend like they aren't getting constant updates through their mutual friends.

And when they reach the living room, Vernon at Chan's heels, Chan motions to the bedroom. "Drop it off in there if you want."

 _If you want_ \- because Chan desperately hope Vernon _does_ want. Maybe he'll want to stay, too.

Vernon disappears into the bedroom, slipping behind one of the french doors (it was the left one.) Chan texts Minghao that Vernon was at his place, and Minghao tells him immediately, ' _dont do anything stupid_.'

Chan goes into his bedroom (that was really Chan's and Vernon's) and sees Vernon folding one of Chan's hoodies and then resting it on the foot of Chan's (and Vernon's) bed. He turns to face Chan suddenly. "Hey."

"Hey..." Chan eyes the hoodie. "Is that all?"

"I've returned most of your stuff. I was just... Putting this off."

Chan feels like someone is strangling him. "Why?"

"I—“ He pauses, maybe just a bit mortified to say it. “I can't sleep without it..." Vernon makes a face like he's embarrassed, feeling so stupid.

But Chan wants to kiss him.

Chan presses one hand against Vernon's hip and rests the other against his nape suddenly.

"Vernon..." _Nonnie_. "Christ," he sighs.

"I missed you," he gasps.

That's all it takes for Chan to lean into a gentle kiss, savoring the feeling of Vernon (Vernon, Vernon, Vernon, _Nonnie_ ) against him.

It was probably a mistake, they probably should stop kissing right now. Chan should pull away and thank him for dropping off his stuff. Maybe tell Vernon to keep the hoodie anyways, he still needs to sleep after all. Just feed into all of Vernon's bad habits.

It was probably a mistake and they probably should have stopped at kissing.

But going through the motions was so easy, Vernon took a seat on the edge of the bed and Chan climbs into his lap. When he was straddling him, still kissing, it crosses Chan's mind that neither had really taken a breath yet.

Vernon looked almost too beautiful, panting below Chan the way he was. The way he unfolded, moaning for more ("More, Channie, please. I've missed you. I need it so bad. _Please_. I need you so bad.")

Later, Chan lets Vernon rest his head across his chest. There's the looming feeling of regret in his chest. Jeonghan would think Chan is stupid.

Because half their friends assured them the breakup wouldn't last longer than two weeks, but when it reached two months the comments stopped and Jeonghan dealt with Chan crying in his living room early in the morning, his chest collapsing in on itself and unable to think clearly.

But Chan doesn't want to watch Vernon go. He wants Vernon to stay here with him, but that’s just damn selfish. Chan tells him that when he watched Vernon slowly redress.

"I can stay," Vernon assures and looks back to Chan. He's only wearing boxers that rested low around his hips. "I want to stay."

And somehow when Vernon ended up sitting in Chan's lap and kissing him again, he repeats it hushed against Chan's mouth - like a secret just between them, "I want to stay."

They spend the next four days in Chan's apartment, leaving for work and then coming back to each other. They sit up during those inbetween hours that are late into the night-early into the morning, cooking late dinners while they talk about what they've missed. Chan smiles everytime Vernon curls into him when they get to bed.

Chan denies going out with Jeonghan again and Vernon tells Seungkwan another excuse about why he wasn't at their shared apartment last night. Eventually, Seungcheol shows up at Chan's. "Vernon is here, right?"

Vernon wasn't there, actually. He was buying some things from the store - beer and microwavable popcorn - and Chan was setting up movies. "Yes. I mean, not right now. But yes."

There was no point in lying, Seungcheol respected that.

"So. Are you guys screwing?"

"No," Chan says thoughtlessly. "He- He sits up with me and watches movies. We hold hands and he tells me about work. We- We... Screw, but it's not like that's all we do.” 

"Are you dating again?" Seungcheol looks shocked and Chan has no idea how to answer (Chan and Vernon, they basically were dating again.) "Have you talked about _it_? Y’know "

"It'll just cause complications." 

"Channie," Seungcheol exhales. Chan waits for his Hyung to continue. "You guys need to talk about what happened.

"Hyung," Chan says, same tone Seungcheol said his name in. "Please let me just... Have him a bit longer."

"Do you think you can just stay holded up in your apartment and live in some fantasy where things with you two are okay?"

"If things were so bad, why did everyone tell me we were sure to get back together?” 

Seungcheol inhales sharply, watching Chan from the opposite side of the kitchen. "Because you wouldn't have ever let that stop you two, but I never agreed with."

Seungcheol leaves and passes Vernon in the doorway. He stares at Vernon for a second, before mumbling about how he needs to get home to Jihoon soon since he was already late.

"What was Cheol Hyung here for?" 

"Vernon, can we talk about the club?" Seungcheol’s phantom prescense makes Chan feel bolder to ask the question.

Vernon mimics Seungcheol from before, he inhales sharply and watches Chan from the opposite side of the kitchen. Only difference was the bag in his hand. "You mean... From before?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Chan bites his lip. "You- You- Did you want to sleep with her?”

"I wasn't, Chan, I've told you a thousand times I wasn't— 

"Nonnie," Chan gasps. "Nonnie, please just... Let me say this." Vernon nods, letting Chan continue. "The way you- The way she pinned you to the wall. You didn't- You didn't look like you wanted it to stop." Chan takes a shallow breath. "You smiled." His voice is shaking and the pressure behind his eyes allures to the chance he might cry.

 "I—“ But he stops, knowing Chan has more to say.

"And I know you _didn't_. You didn’t kiss. I know you pushed her off of you - and you didn't even see me yet..." Vernon waits. "But. You wanted to."

"You talk to me about the five second crushes you get on strangers, about what celebrities you want to screw. But you'd never do it, even given the chance. I don't see how this is any different."

Chan takes another deep breath. "Five days ago was the first time you touched me in four and a half months."

"Chan—"

"And we only broke up _three_ and a half months ago."

"Chan, I—"

"If I'm not enough, just tell me that. I want to be enough. I can be enough—" 

"Chan—" God it was like that's all Vernon could possibly say.

"—You would reject me. You'd avoid kissing me like the plague. It was killing me - I thought I did something wrong... Did you just get bored of me?" Chan watches Vernon with wet eyes. "That was it, right? You got bored. Then there's... A gap, a break. We don't see each other for months and now it feels like I'm new again."

Vernon is walking closer to Chan, pausing briefly to set the bag on the counter next to him. "Don't talk about yourself that way," Vernon whispers. "Channie, you're more than just something I want for sex - I didn't- I didn't mean to do these things to you. But I did… I know that, I'm not pretending otherwise." He sighs, long and tired. "I just- I just wanted a moment to catch my breath.

 Chan retaliates immediately. "Catch your breath? I ignore me for a month and say it's you catching your breath? I thought you hated me! I thought you wanted to breakup! I was crying on Jeonghannie Hyung's shoulder _long_ before this breakup. You can't- Nonnie, you can't do that to me—"

"I couldn't give you what you needed," Vernon spits. "I couldn't be a boyfriend that would ever be enough for you. I never meant- I never meant to make you feel that way, to make you feel how I do, but you- you were too much. You gave too much and I couldn't give back. I don't have enough inside of me to just pour into you. Not enough love, not enough dedication, not enough energy."

"You had enough energy for her." He doesn't believe that, but Chan's petty.

"Chan, drop that girl. She literally- _She_ came onto me and I didn't even touch her-" 

"You wanted to fuck her!"

"I never wanted to be with anyone, but you!” Vernon fumes. "I've only ever loved you, Chan, but I can't keep taking and taking from you! And you'll insist that it's alright, that you don't mind, but I can't do this to you."

"You give _plenty_.” 

"I don't." Chan doesn't get to say anything else before Vernon places the bag on the counter. He swallows hard. "I should go home?" He asks.

"I don't- I don't want you to," Chan says, his voice thick. 

Vernon eyes Chan and nods. "Okay." Chan takes his hand and they go to the bedroom, his throat tight. Vernon leans into him. "Are we gonna be okay?"

A few seconds pass, Chan watches Vernon. 

Vernon looks so fucking small.

Chan hugs him tightly. "We can be okay."


End file.
